He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
