Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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