Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
