i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
