But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just blew my weed a kiss
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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