Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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