Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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