You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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