The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize