I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
