You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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