went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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