I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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