i can't believe i had my finger in that
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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