first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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