She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
