You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
