apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
