My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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