sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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