he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
