Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
