It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
