he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
