Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
