i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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