"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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