I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize