Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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