Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
