OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
