I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
