I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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