I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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