We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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