I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A bitchslap is in order.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
