Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
