i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Randomize
