Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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