Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
