I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
