She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
