we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
