I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
