I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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