the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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