I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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