Michael Bay diarrhea
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We're too hungover to prance.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize