Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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