I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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