kristin has been a bad kristin
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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