I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
