its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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