So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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