can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
