there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
