that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Randomize