hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
