So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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