i jhust puked up my retainher.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
