Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
